Who's wrong? our son needs 4000 in dental work and his mom opted to buy breast implants instead.?

Answers:4   |   LastUpdateAt:2019-01-02 18:40:53  

Question
jejel
Asked at 2012-07-08 15:45:02
we have been together for 7 years and our son is five, since september of last year she has known about at least 7 teeth that needed attention. since we have been together she has wanted breast surgery and im am not against it as a matter of fact i have taken her to all her consultations . but since january our son had been in major pain due to tooth decay and needed to make an appointment i kept asking his mom to make an appointment but because her mother who lives
40 min away had his medical card , but nothing kept happening... meanwhile our son was crying , had a fever and was in much pain i was very bothered by this because she made sure she has the day off and everyone is available when she needs to make her appointments and can go to the burbs anytime she has a consultation but not for the boy? . so i wound up setting an Emergency appointment myself at a free clinic and the boy wound up loosing a tooth that wont grow back for a couple years and now had 7 cavities and needed two baby root canals. But since it was UIC student dental and needed to be sedated he would have to wait a month and a half till the work could be done . She finally made an appointment with a dentist under her insurance and was told the work was over 4000 and would loose another if not both of teeth that needed root canals and had exposed nerves . i knew she had money left from her tax return @ least 3000 and asked her to use it to at least fix the ones that needed it most she said she was broke and spent a majority of it ...to make a long story short we had to wait for the free clinic and got 40% done but the boy went through hell up late nights fevers pain . his next appointment was scheduled 5 weeks later and the other day his mother announced she was getting a 6500.00 breast surgery ... naturally i was upset (she had the money all along) we got into a big argument about morality and priorities and she has not only left me but has taken the boy ... what do you think ?
Answer1Ashley-AnnAnswered at 2012-07-20 06:15:02
In all my personal studies , I have not met a subculture that approves his conduct as morally justifiable or acceptable ... I try to avoid the use of my personal and subjective , but in this case I agree with your point of view , his conduct was , and remains inexcusable.

I suggest you contact a legal adviser to discuss perhaps the struggle for the child , if you want to have him. Be sure to tell this story because it could be considered unfit as a mother , which gives a greater chance of getting custody in court.
Answer2 Answered at 2019-01-02 18:40:53

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Answer3 Answered at 2012-08-02 08:28:10
This is horrible. Kids and their expenses should come first. With insurance the costs should not be too bad. I'm a single mother and my daughter had sealants that actually gave her 5 cavities all overnight more or less. I got her in ASAP and got them all fixed and am getting her sealants fixed in a couple weeks (I work full time, I had grandma help and made it happen-Its not easy for a lot of us). Her dad and I are split but with him having insurance and myself the total cost is $50.00 out of pocket. One or both of you should have insurance on him, and it sounds like mom is selfish. My apologies but I can't stand women who but themselves before their kids. If she doesn't have insurance on her son, and I'm guessing doesn't work, breast implants are too expensive and she needs to come back down to earth. Women typically need work done within the first 5 years and that's not free. Insurance doesn't cover any of the follow up procedures or complications. If she gets silicone, mammograms are not covered by insurance and those alone are 2K. Good implants are 4-6K for saline, 1k more for silicone and typically most women experience some type of serious complication within 10-12 years. It costs even more to get them taken out, not to mention any complications or illness from the implants are not covered by insurance. Its also a very bad idea to finance them because if you have any complications you could end up paying for that before the implants are even paid off, and where does that leave your son for his needs? It sounds like there is a lot of low self esteem and priorities are not in order here. A five year old has no control over his health and can only rely on his care takers to take care of him. My parents let me go through hell and suffer with bad teeth. The older he gets the more he will realize he was neglected and he will build resentment for this towards you both. Priorities need to be put in order here. Get insurance, get his teeth fixed. Buy him a $7.00 electric round toothbrush at Walmart so it fits in the back of his mouth. Take him for regular check ups every 6 months. Stand there with him every day and night and make sure his teeth are brushed. I did this for years and my child STILL ended up with cavities. I can't tell you how many nights I had to drag her out of bed and make her do it. Its not fun, but its parenting. I can only imagine what could be the situation with her teeth if I had not done that. If you are unable to get insurance right away, look into government assistance like AHCCCS so this can get taken care of (this should be a temporary solution, not permanent). No child should suffer for months with tooth pain.
Answer4 Answered at 2012-08-02 08:30:51
Opps, I missed the part about her leaving and taking your son. Sorry. I would keep all conversation logs, emails, text messages, take pictures of anything you see odd about your son (if you ever see him) and take her to court. Even if you get to split taking care of him, at least you can be the solid parent with your head on your shoulders to make sure he is being taken care of. Good for you by the way. Usually this is the other way around with genders.
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